Thursday, May 1, 2014

Mystery Flavor


~ New-Venties ~ 

Nail Applier::  Bella Elephante :: Diamond Flowers ( Lavender) :: * Fit For A Princess *
Pose:: //Elephante Poses// :: Saturday Night Fever :: * OneWord *
Hair:: [LCKY] :: Morgan :: * New *
Dress:: RD Style :: Candy Dress :: * Omg Room Hunt * 

~ Dress Me Up, Oppa ~

Birdy:: SilentSparrow :: 
Hand Poses:: {W&R} :: Nail Poses
Bracelets:: .{yumyums}. :: Heart & Pearl 
Ears:: Mandala :: Stretched 
Glasses:: FIR & MNA :: The Caine Glasses
Antlers/BEars :: +Half-Deer+ :: Jackalope Ears/Antlers ( Cotton ) 
Lipgloss:: The Sugar Garden :: Baby LiquiShine ( Lilac ) 
Ring 1 :: [geek.] :: Ghostie Ring ( Pink ) 
Ring 2 :: Rotten Defiance :: Mustache PopTart 
Tee :: {dollle*} :: Roll Up Plain T-shirt ( white ) 
Eyes:: The Sugar Garden :: Mori Eyes ( Dark Brown ) 
Blush:: Adore&Abhor :: Princess Star Blush ( Purple ) 
Dripping :: Beusy :: Dripping Bubblegum Leggings
Freckles:: -UtopiaH- :: My Freckled Blush
Heels:: Fri.day :: Venus Heels ( Pink ) 
Socks:: Buttery Toast :: Gradient Socks ( Calm Day ) 
Knee Blush :: {Sugar Heart } :: Knee Blush ( Small ) 
Skin:: The Sugar Garden :: Hope ( B Tone )
Necklace :: Pr!cK :: Face Caps ( Happy ) 

~ Blurbble ~

This is suppose to be a happy post, filled with bubblegum, candy and birdies. I am not however happy, rather the opposite pretty devastated. I woke up this morning thinking everything would be okies, if I did what I was suppose to that I wouldn't suffer the consequences of my longing actions. Of course this isn't the case, no matter what I do..it doesn't seem to be a fixing for this without proper treatment, which scares the hell out of me. I haven't been to a doctor since I was 14 years old maybe alittle later than that. I am still a young woman, who is suppose to be experiencing many things in my life...now I am at a stand still. All I can think of is Jinki, what his hugs would be like and how much I would love someone wrapping their arms around me and telling me that I will be alright. I wish I was alright. I wish I didn't have negative thoughts. I wish I didn't think of myself as a disgusting human being. Alas' another day will go by, and I am sure I can manage somehow in the tiny little opening of a window, that I will be happy again. 
Some reason the only thing I can think of, that isnt negative is how much I would love Jinki to sing this song to me. 

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